


catching signals that sound in the dark

by kawaii_alpacasso



Series: game grumps drabbles [6]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Crying, Death, M/M, Smut, blowjob, idk if it’s angst?, im so sorry pt 3, inspired by “they both die at the end”, it has death, song: “two headed boy” by neutral milk hotel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-04 20:40:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18820315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kawaii_alpacasso/pseuds/kawaii_alpacasso
Summary: “Dan? It’s four in the morning. What are you doing?”





	catching signals that sound in the dark

The cellphone service is shit out here, but Dan persists nonetheless. He’s determined that if he’s dying today, he isn’t dying alone. He’s called Arin’s cell at least fifteen times and he’s kinda panicking at this point, but he persists. He’s stopped at the corner of 17th and Holland Streets. Above him looms a lit street lamp and the moon and a whole assload of stars that do him no good. None of those things can save him now. Death-Cast has already called him; maybe if he’d just gone without getting a phone, he could have bypassed fate, he could have lived a full life, not that he hasn’t, but he wanted to live into his 70’s and tell stories to his grandkids and _fuck_ , he doesn’t even have kids, he’s falling apart, he’s dying quicker by the moment and he has no one to leave behind but his ex-wife, his bandmate Brian, and his boss and best friend Arin. And he can’t get up with any of them. And he’s going down the drain. His breaths are fading back into the atmosphere. His energy is being recycled but please, he isn’t ready to go yet, he doesn’t want to go. Let him attain permanence only for an hour or two. Let him be more than something momentary.

“Hello?”

Dan’s precious breath goes out in one long exhale of relief. He even smiles a little bit, though Arin is on the phone and can’t see it. “Hi. Hey, Arin.”

“Dan? It’s four in the morning. What are you doing?” 

_I_ _don’t_ _know_ _either_ , is Dan’s first thought. “I’m sorry to wake you up, man. C... could we maybe meet up? At the office?” 

“Now?” 

“Yeah. I’m sorry to ask, but—“

“Do you need a ride?”

Shit. Dan doesn’t want one, he doesn’t want to suffer the car ride for the ten minutes it takes, but he needs to. He can’t risk dying on his way to see his friend. “Yeah. That would be great, actually. I’m, uh... I’m at the corner of 17th and Holland.”

“The fuck are you doing there?”

Arin’s catching on. Dan’s heart sinks and he’s so afraid that it’ll just sink further, further into the quicksand of knowing his death day, so deep that he’ll die of a broken heart. 

“I went out for a walk. I promise I’ll explain it when you get here, okay? I’m sorry. I’ll see you in ten.” 

“I’ll be there in five.” 

Arin’s gonna rush it. Nobody’s out this time of night, but still, he shouldn’t speed. Dan’s organs aren’t exactly complaining about that, though.

“Thanks, man.” _Click_. Call ended. 

It’s just a tap of his finger but it changes Dan completely. He’s anxious now, his friend is going to see him dying, he has to tell him, he doesn’t know how to tell him. He’s out here alone. He’s gonna be kidnapped and Arin’s gonna think he was playing a joke. Dan’s breath is too precious to waste on hyperventilating, so he forces himself to calm down before he dies five minutes too early. 

And he lives. Arin’s car pulls up to the curb and Dan hops in the passenger seat. Dan is so sorry. Arin’s looking at him with a look of solid _what_ _the_ _fuck_. 

“What the fuck is going on, Dan?” 

Yep. 

Dan’s eyes fill with tears, and when they’re full (all too quickly), the tears spill onto his cheeks. He forces himself to look Arin in the eyes.

“I’m dying.” 

“What?” Arin’s voice cracks; he’s left barely audible. 

“I got the call, Arin. From Death-Cast. I’m— I’m so scared.”

“Tell me you’re joking,” Arin says. His still-broken voice is louder when he says, “Tell me this is all a horrible fucking joke.” 

And Dan breaks. His head falls to his hands and his eyes shut tightly. When he blinks them open, his vision of Arin is blurry. “I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

Arin doesn’t say anything, but he looks at Dan like Dan is already in a casket; Arin’s eyebrows are furrowed upward, his mouth just agape, and his breath is coming quicker now than it did before. He unbuckles his seatbelt and leans in to hug Dan tighter than Dan has ever been hugged. He joins Dan in crying; he sobs loudly against Dan’s shoulder, filled with regret.  

——

The office is solemn. Dan doesn’t know why he expected differently. He wanted it to be cheerful, happy, full of his coworkers and friends and jokes and lights. As he thinks of that alternate future, he’s laying on the Grumps couch, leaning against Arin, with one dim lamp on. It’s quiet, except they’re both getting over the sniffling remains of crying, and the crickets outside are playing a requiem. 

“I’m scared, Arin.” 

“Me too.” Arin rubs Dan’s shoulder. He stares at Dan staring at him in the TV reflection. 

“I don’t wanna go,” Dan’s voice cracks again. He doesn’t want it to. But he’s lucky to have a voice in this moment.

Arin presses on his shoulder firmly, like Dan is being stolen away—like the truth. “Dan. Can I be honest?”

“Don’t waste your breath asking me that. Go ahead.” 

“Right. Um. I. I’ve kinda, like. Liked you. For a while now.”

“Oh.”

“Sorry. Now isn’t the time.”

“It never will be.” Dan waits a second before he realizes Arin is waiting for a prompt. “It’s okay. Keep going.”

“I’m kinda, like, in love with you. I think, maybe. And I’ve felt it for years. I just... never found the right time.”

“That’s funny,” Dan says, not laughing. “I feel the same.” 

“Is that a—“ 

“It’s not a joke,” Dan says. He’s laughing now. He looks up at Arin, and Arin, seeing it in the reflection, looks down at him. “Kiss me.”

_Take_ _my_ _breath_. _I_ _don’t_ _have_ _many_ _left_ , _but_ _I_ _will_ _give_ _some_ _to_ _you_.

Arin closes his lips over Dan’s. He whimpers. He doesn’t mean to whimper, it just kind of happens when he thinks of the fact that this man is dying. But he can’t. He can’t think of that now. Now isn’t the time for that. Soon there will be a moment for it. But now, now he has to savor this, like the aroma of a wilting gardenia, Dan is fading fast, he needs to keep up. He doesn’t want to lose him. The fog’s impossible to navigate if it becomes too thick. He needs to keep sight of him. He’s right there, his nose touching his nose, but he needs more. Arin can’t let him be swept away. He moves his hands to Dan’s cheeks, to his chin, to his hair, his neck, below, below, _oh_ , _Arin_. 

“Please,” Dan whispers against Arin’s lips. “I’m dying. Make love to me.” 

Arin’s fingers undo Dan’s jean buttons quicker than he’s ever undone buttons. He pulls them down, and Dan moves awkwardly off the couch to shimmy them and his boxers off; they’re tossed somewhere across the room, he doesn’t have time to care where they end up. And Arin doesn’t have time to marvel at his cock. He’s wanted to see it for three years but now isn’t the time. It’ll never be the time. He has to live in the moment. He can’t let himself be reminded that Dan is dying. Not as Dan sits half-naked on his lap. Not as he’s tensing his fingers around Dan’s cock and looking up at Dan with big, pitying eyes. Not as he tells him “I love you.” And for the love of god, not as Dan says it back.

“You’re wearing too many clothes,” Dan remarks with a tired smile.

“Yeah. Yeah, I am. Get your shirt off while I do this.”

Dan gets off of him and both of them stand up. Dan raises his arms above his head and curses himself for gasping, for wasting his breath as his chest is exposed to the cold air. Arin’s eyes flicker across Dan’s body as he strips himself of his clothes. They’re both equally naked now. Equilibrium. It doesn’t matter that one of them isn’t dying today. They’re equals right now.

They get back on the couch, Dan on Arin’s lap, Arin’s fingers in Dan’s mouth; coating them with saliva, because they don’t have time to find lube. 

“I don’t have a condom,” Arin says.

“It doesn’t matter,” Dan reminds him.

“Right. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You’re doing fine.”

Dan is too patient. He’s too good, too calm as Arin’s slick finger touches his ass, biting his lip as the wet intrusion makes his ass clench. 

“I’m sorry. I’m trying to go slow. I’m just— y’know.” 

“Yeah, I know. It’s okay. Keep going.”

Arin doesn’t break eye contact with him as his finger presses in fully, then he pulls it out, and then he adds a second one. Dan whimpers. Arin mumbles _I’m_ _sorry_ , but it’s mostly to comfort himself. 

Soon, time gets too quick to go this slow. Dan drops to his knees on the floor and takes Arin’s cock in his mouth, taking as much as he possibly can at once, looking up at Arin with those dying black eyes, and Arin’s brought to tears. He can only let this go on for a minute before he remembers the time constraints.

“You’re so pretty. Danny, get up here,” Arin says gently.

At Arin’s words, Dan deepthroats him just once, his entire cock going down Dan’s throat. It can’t hurt him at this point. Dan doesn’t break eye contact as his eyes tear up. 

Arin grabs his hair and pulls him off of his cock. He isn’t letting Dan die by choking on his dick. Dan stands up and lowers himself onto Arin’s cock, extremely slowly. Achingly slowly. He can’t really afford to go this slow, but he’s never taken a cock in his ass before. Soon, he hits the hilt with a moan against Arin’s chest. 

“Arin, I’m so full,” Dan says. His voice is muffled. He leaves hickeys on Arin’s neck and collarbone. 

“You’re so tight and warm, Dan. Fuck.” Arin says. He embraces Dan tightly as he thrusts shallowly into his ass.

It isn’t long before they cum together. Dan cums with a cry of Arin’s name on his broken voice. Arin—he cums with a yell of “I love you”, something he repeats like a mantra long after he comes down from his orgasm. Something he repeats as he breaks down crying.

“I love you, don’t cry,” Dan says. He rubs his thumb across Arin’s damp cheek and tries to find eye contact. “I’m sorry. I love you. I’ll see you again, okay?”

“Don’t go,” Arin whispers because he can’t speak louder.

“I have to,” Dan says, though he kisses Arin one more time before he goes, a long, drawn out kiss of tongue and moans and _I’m_ _sorry_ ’s. 


End file.
